Fairlop Oak

The Fairlop Oak is a Weatherspoon pub located in the Barkingside/Fairlop area. It was most frequently visited in 2015 and was held in very high regard by former Unicorn Warrior, Sean.

Sean contained unparalleled joy when discussing the Fairlop Oak. He often waxed lyrical about the relaxing beer garden where you could smoke JibJab, the cheap price of alcoholic beverage Tuborg and the so-called better atmosphere with less elderly people and more "fit girls".

The rest of the Unicorn Warriors indulged his meet-up desires and gave Fairlop Oak a visit semi-regularly, but it would soon become a source of antagonism among the group and even fed into the long-running Sean-Zain Feud. James, Raphael and Zain, whilst didn't hate the Fairlop Oak, much preferred the quaint comforts of The George in Gants Hill. Sean continually wanted to shift local pub meet-ups to a purely Fairlop Oak affair, leaving no room for other establishments. This sparked a major schism. It also highlighted Sean's selfish nature. In a bid to convince the rest of the Warriors to ditch The George he'd make reference to the atmosphere being "dead" and "full of old people". When his ageist stance didn't pan out how he'd hoped he deployed the "fit girls" tactic - appealing to our hormonal side. It didn't work. Whilst James, Raphael and Zain all enjoy the pleasures a woman has to offer, this was not going to come between them and The George. Perhaps Sean's pleas would have made more sense if his "fit girls" tactic was to include attempts at hook-ups. They did not. Sean meant in terms of hollow eye-candy. Either way, the rest of the Warriors weren't exactly looking for hook-ups when going to the pub. They wanted good company and good beer.

To cut Sean's incessant whining about Fairlop Oak, the rest of the Warriors made a strong and principled stance to only go there rarely.

Memorable Moments

'' Is This The Toilet? ''

As James was drunk and looking for the toilets he accidentally stumbled into the kitchen. His knob could have been turned into easy knife-fodder, but he luckily survived and eventually found the correct room.

 Raph's Pint Rage 

As Raphael got back from the toilet all jovially and ready to finish off his pint, he noticed something was amiss.The colour and the texture of his pint were both grotesque. Mustard and ketchup had been poured into it. He immediately darted his firm gaze at Sean and angrily asserted himself.

"Did you do this Sean!?"

"Huhehuhuhe"

Raphael ferociously demanded someone purchase him a fresh new pint to compensate and the demand was met.

 Nacho Debacle 

As Sean curiously glanced and sniffed over Raphael's plate of nachos like a squirrel on a hunger-strike, he nervously pointed at the guacamole and asked with a tinge of disgust in his voice:

"Raphael, what's that green stuff?"

"It's guacamole Sean, you cretin."

He would go on to ask Raphael if he could try some of his nachos. A fair question to ask a friend, but instead of taking one or two chips he decided to pull from the very heart of the nacho dish: the cheese nucleus. A major crime in Mohomostan. Raphael swiftly slapped Sean's wrist and told him to take some from the side.