Raphs House

The Kiyani family home has always been Raphael's humble abode since birth. The Warriors have also paid a visit once in a blue moon as well, with of course a story to tell...


 * Vic the Maths Teacher*

It was the year 2011 and early maths examinations were all the rage. Raphael and James had approached the day with frantic messages of excitement and anxiety, but decided to meet up a few hours ahead of the exam time to revise together.

Vic Norman being the mighty jack of all trade educator he is took the pair under his wing and sat through possible exam questions. James feeling peckish had brought a chicken and bacon sandwich from M&S which sent Raphael's tastebuds into overdrive as he would frequently look over and stare at the divine culinary concoction and cheekily grin. Nevertheless, James who had been taught maths for years had the sudden awakening he had needed, he became enlightened and both of them had scraped the precious 'C' pass they needed.


 * Zain had a Wii accident...*

It goes without saying that a unicorn warrior evening in at Raph's house is a rare treat. One evening during the same GCSE years, they had gathered in the living room to play some glorious Mario Kart and Wii sports. Competition was running high, pulses pumped a beating tempo as each individual tried their hardest to outbeat each other.

The ski jump race. Side by side. Waiting for the start of the klaxon. BEEP! Off you go! Picking up speed, the warriors raced down the slope under the influence of gravity. In the real world, they stood fixated to the TV waiting for the moment to launch their Wii controllers into the air to signal the jump off the ski slope.

Zain must have believed he was really there, considering in that split moment he launched his arm high and fast into the air. Being 6 ft 2 and oblivious to his surroundings, he had smashed the controller into the decorative light piece causing a deafening sound of broken glass. Raphael was most shocked by this but it was dad, Vic Norman who insisted that Zain would have to pay for the damage. "Zain give me your address so I can send the bill for the replacement your way", Zain sheepishly gave in and wrote the details down with an awkward grin behind his words. Raphael thought his dad was over-reacting considering you can't replace a single decorative light fitting and must buy them as a pack.

* Winner Winner Chicken Dinner*

2019 would surprisingly see the long awaited return of James and Zain to Raphaels home. The plan was simple...grabs some snacks, some beer and cards and hang out in the comfort of a home without the pressure of having to buy drinks or closing time.

James who had brought along some snacks purchased the delicious new Jacob's salt and vinegar crisps to soak up the booze. Despite an initial meeting up confusion with Zain about which geographical direction he would be travelling in (he did come from the opposite he said he would), the pair met and waited outside the house like a pair of high British stag do pals in the red light district of Amsterdam.

Ahead of them the door opened gently. ROWR ROWR bois! Raphael ushered them into the back room as his parents readied themselves for the night upstairs. The room was perfect, a table, comfy sofa and an alcohol cabinet which Raphael raided and entertained his long awaited guests generously. Many increasingly drunk rounds of shitface later...the warriors were feeling peckish. What was originally a request from Raphael for 2 couple of chicken pieces had led to Zain ordering a feast. Zain had been clumsy enough to note the delivery address to his own house and not Raphaels which eventually led to a lot of confusion and one angry delivery driver who Raphael didn't hesitate to blame on his clumsy friend. The feast in front of them was divine in their drunk state, crispy chicken thighs, wings, whole bags of chips and even beans; a bossman KFC. It was clear however it wouldn't be finished so Zain decided he could take some for breakfast next morning.

It was approaching the early hours of the morning and James realised he would find it difficult to get home alone. Raphael kindly offered his room, James originally insisted he could sleep on the floor but Raphael was determined to get him in his bed in a non homosexual fashion. Squished side by side with James acting as small spoon, they spent an uncomfortable 4 hours sleep together. Raphael would frequently kick out or smack James with his long arms forgetting he was there but James would never notice in his dreamy comatose. James snuck out the house around 7am to avoid Raphaels parents ever knowing they had slept together. Raphael simply stated he had told them that same morning.