Phil Simmonds

A legend of a man who is Sean's dad, known by Raphael since childhood as being a caring, kind and respectful gentleman however should be a force not to be reckoned with. Often greeting the warriors one by one when they come to visit Sean at his house with a prolonged and very cockney sounding "Allllrriiiiiiigggghhhttttt (insert name)". Raphael has said on occasion that should he ever become filthy rich, he would erect a solid diamond statue of Phil in Valentines Park as an adoration to his life and works.

He is also a London Black Taxi Driver as such is James' Dad who you can read more about here.

 Notable Moments 

Raphael's vomit and the carpet - 

The Blackboard -  Sean's Dad was very fond of his blackboard and chalk that he kept in his kitchen, most of the times he would scribble on a shopping list or recipe typically in the form of some kind of delicious vegetarian curry. One afternoon James and Raphael were around Sean's house before heading to the pub. Sean as usual was Jabelloed out of his mind and oblivious to almost everything. James took advantage of this opportunity and wrote on the blackboard an early rhyme back from Sean's childhood, it read:

Sean sits on the lawn,

Eating corn, watching porn.

Despite the fact Sean was right beside James as he wrote this, he never realised - shortly we left and made our way out. At the end of the night once everybody had gone home, the warriors received a violent message on the group chat that read "Don't write s*!t on my blackboard like that again!". Sean had only realised this, 7 hours later - his father had since long been home by then.

Jabello hide & seek -

Sean goes into exile - During a notably drunk night of drinking and usual mischief, the warriors wanted somewhere cosy to hang out whilst their impaired minds could recover. Everybody voted on Sean's house, but Sean being Sean was extremely paranoid that due to the sloshed state we were all in, we would cause embarrassment to himself. Regardless we charged on towards his house, catching up speed to Sean as his long legs paced him ahead of us. Sean was so worried we may actually burst through the door with him that he called up Phil and warned him in advance that we were very drunk and coming! Phil was at the ready, he swung open the door as Sean darted through the narrow gap - everyone else was chanting and shouting as they marched up the front path. Before they could get a foot in the door, Phil slammed it shut leaving the warriors calling out for him on his doorstep at the top of their lungs. James was a very happy drunk regardless and smooched Raphael's forehead before throwing it backwards like a rugby ball. They didn't gain entry that night afterall.